Self Improvement for Beginners

Healthy self esteem is a subject very dear to me in my personal quest for self improvement. A few years ago, I used to suffer from low self esteem, plagued by insecurities, especially about my wittiness, intellect, and weight. I would blame every negative experience I’ve ever had on me, and always watch what I say around others, being conscious to project a certain image. I was overly conscious of what I wore, often choosing to dress down and wear things I didn’t like over and over again to hide my “fat” figure. Overall, I was miserable and unhappy, though I did my best to convince myself otherwise.

Self esteem refers to the faith one has in one’s abilities and the confidence one has in his/her worth. And knowing how much credence you put in yourself and your abilities is one step towards self improvement for beginners.

According to the Mayo Clinic, there are three basic types of self esteem: Negative (or Low) Self Esteem, Overly High Self Esteem, and Healthy Self Esteem. When one does not have healthy self esteem, and one views one’s self, it is unavoidably littered with biases. This subjects one’s self to an elevated or brutal partial assessment. For example, a woman who views herself as close to perfection, or a man who is unsatisfied with the way his body looks even though he spends hours a week in the gym.

I’m My Own Worst Critic

Low self esteem is arguably the more popular of the three, wherein one is feels certain about their worthlessness or inferiority compared to others. People with low self esteem tend to

• Talk unfavorably to themselves and about their abilities,
• Focus negatively on their what they regard as their weaknesses and faults,
• Constantly and negatively judge themselves and what they do,
• Apologize frequently and refuse compliments about themselves and their abilities,
• Seek constant reassurance from others, and
• Not feel better even with positive feedback

Adam Jones, a guitarist, had once put it, “I’m my own worst critic.”

If I learned one thing from my philosophy classes, it’s that it’s impossible to totally detach oneself from one’s self and view one’s self in a totally objective manner. No matter how hard we try to objectively view ourselves, our view will always be tainted by our beliefs, biases, personal history, and our daily exposure.

People with low self esteem have a greater tendency to judge themselves negatively, and this is a self-limiting attitude, hindering their chance for self improvement.

Self-Conceit May Lead To Self-Destruction

Confidence in one’s self and one’s abilities is undoubtedly a good thing. However, arrogance is not, especially when it is used to cover up an individual’s insecurities. Overly high self esteem, in my opinion, is actually low self esteem, shielded by a coat of arrogance. It happens when this is present, an individual that displays an unrealistic, over inflated opinion of his abilities and himself. People with overly high esteem tend to

• Regard others as inferior when compared to the self,
• Have aggressive tendencies, especially when they feel threatened,
• Exhibit destructive behavior such as drug abuse and violence,
• Fabrication or Exaggeration of traits or experiences to show supremacy over others, and
• Talk down about other individuals and their traits in order to highlight their perceived superiority

Individuals with overly high self esteem are more prone to closing themselves off to personal growth, because they believe in their infallibility and perfection, thus stunting or heavily impeding their opportunity for self improvement.

Always Be A First-Rate Version Of Yourself

Self esteem is how one views himself/herself. It affects how individuals relate with others, and the decisions and choices one makes. It is what motivates and inspires people to strive to better themselves. With healthy self esteem, individuals value their self-worth leading them to

• Have confidence in themselves and their abilities,
• Nurture healthy relationships with others,
• Increase their ability to accept, weather, and solve challenges that come their way,
• Do well and excel in their chosen professions,
• Express their opinions and ideas, and open up to ideas of others, and
• Be more positive on their outlook in life

Healthy self esteem has the potential to help you live a better and more fulfilling life. With confidence in yourself and your abilities, it can help you strive to be the best person you can be. As Judy Garland had said, "Always be a first-rate version of yourself, instead of a second-rate version of somebody else."


Toodles,
Amy