Self Improvement for Beginners

Trust Yourself, Then You Will Know How To Live

How can I build up my self esteem? Building self esteem is one of the crucial foundations of self improvement. Below, I’ll share some of the things I did in order to boost my self esteem from low to healthy. Getting healthy self esteem isn’t always as easy as many make it out to be. It’s probably not going to be easy, nor is it going to be instantaneous. For me, I had turned the suggestions below into habits, slowly ingraining them into my daily life and thoughts.

1. Respect yourself!
   Like in the Christian God’s ten commandments, the first in the list is always the most important and it’ll serve as the base of everything else. Having self-respect is crucial to raising self esteem. When you respect yourself, you wouldn’t accept someone else treating you derogatorily. If not from someone else, why should you tolerate it from yourself?


2. Be aware!
   Be conscious of how you think about yourself. Do you automatically think you can’t do something or do anything well? Catch yourself in the middle of your self-depreciating spiel and think positively.


3. Don’t always compare yourself to others!
   Everyone has something they’re good at. Comparing yourself to others, especially in a self-derogatory way, is bad for your self esteem. Perhaps Kate may be better at drawing, or Mike may be better at Math, but you have something you’re good at as well.


4. Learn more about yourself!
   What are you good at and what are you not so good at? What do you enjoy doing? What are your likes and dislikes? Knowing more about yourself is important to building self esteem. When you learn more about yourself, you can learn to better assert yourself in the areas where you are more proficient. Also, it can lead to building confidence (but hopefully not arrogance) in yourself and what you can do.


5. Hone your talents!
   Improving on your talents will help you build confidence in what you can do. It can also help you get better and more efficient at what you do. Much like in video games, it is important to level-up so you are better equipped to tackle more difficult things and situations.


6. Take pride in your work!
   Much like being aware, refrain from chalking up your work to external sources like luck, and stop downplaying your successes. Accept and take pride in what you can do and what you’ve accomplished!


7. Set a goal and keep track of it!
   Having an ultimate goal is crucial to success. Many actually do set goals, however many also fail to follow through with it. It’s good to aim high, but aim realistically. I’ve listed below some suggestions on how to set a goal, follow it, and keep track of it.

• Be as specific as you can
  This is very important when setting a goal. Setting vague goals aren’t enough. “I want to be rich” is not very specific. “What do you have to have to consider yourself rich? 40 million?” “By what age do you want to be rich?” Vague goals are more prone to changes and modifications (into lesser goals).


• Set deadlines
  Hand in hand with being specific, realistic deadlines are important. Given our earlier example, the deadliest deadline (when you get 40 million) isn’t the most important. Instead, the steps you take are what are most important. Set deadlines like, “I’ll have my first million when I’m 30, and my first 10 million when I’m 40.”


• List down options you can take to reach it
  Make a list of what you can do to reach your goal. In line with our example and setting deadlines, the question to ask here is, “What will I do to get my first million?”


• Stop procrastinating
  Now that you have your list and schedule, get your butt of the couch and actually do it. Procrastination is a horrible enemy to reaching your goals. It’s usually better to start now than starting later.

Toodles,
Amy

Healthy self esteem is a subject very dear to me in my personal quest for self improvement. A few years ago, I used to suffer from low self esteem, plagued by insecurities, especially about my wittiness, intellect, and weight. I would blame every negative experience I’ve ever had on me, and always watch what I say around others, being conscious to project a certain image. I was overly conscious of what I wore, often choosing to dress down and wear things I didn’t like over and over again to hide my “fat” figure. Overall, I was miserable and unhappy, though I did my best to convince myself otherwise.

Self esteem refers to the faith one has in one’s abilities and the confidence one has in his/her worth. And knowing how much credence you put in yourself and your abilities is one step towards self improvement for beginners.

According to the Mayo Clinic, there are three basic types of self esteem: Negative (or Low) Self Esteem, Overly High Self Esteem, and Healthy Self Esteem. When one does not have healthy self esteem, and one views one’s self, it is unavoidably littered with biases. This subjects one’s self to an elevated or brutal partial assessment. For example, a woman who views herself as close to perfection, or a man who is unsatisfied with the way his body looks even though he spends hours a week in the gym.

I’m My Own Worst Critic

Low self esteem is arguably the more popular of the three, wherein one is feels certain about their worthlessness or inferiority compared to others. People with low self esteem tend to

• Talk unfavorably to themselves and about their abilities,
• Focus negatively on their what they regard as their weaknesses and faults,
• Constantly and negatively judge themselves and what they do,
• Apologize frequently and refuse compliments about themselves and their abilities,
• Seek constant reassurance from others, and
• Not feel better even with positive feedback

Adam Jones, a guitarist, had once put it, “I’m my own worst critic.”

If I learned one thing from my philosophy classes, it’s that it’s impossible to totally detach oneself from one’s self and view one’s self in a totally objective manner. No matter how hard we try to objectively view ourselves, our view will always be tainted by our beliefs, biases, personal history, and our daily exposure.

People with low self esteem have a greater tendency to judge themselves negatively, and this is a self-limiting attitude, hindering their chance for self improvement.

Self-Conceit May Lead To Self-Destruction

Confidence in one’s self and one’s abilities is undoubtedly a good thing. However, arrogance is not, especially when it is used to cover up an individual’s insecurities. Overly high self esteem, in my opinion, is actually low self esteem, shielded by a coat of arrogance. It happens when this is present, an individual that displays an unrealistic, over inflated opinion of his abilities and himself. People with overly high esteem tend to

• Regard others as inferior when compared to the self,
• Have aggressive tendencies, especially when they feel threatened,
• Exhibit destructive behavior such as drug abuse and violence,
• Fabrication or Exaggeration of traits or experiences to show supremacy over others, and
• Talk down about other individuals and their traits in order to highlight their perceived superiority

Individuals with overly high self esteem are more prone to closing themselves off to personal growth, because they believe in their infallibility and perfection, thus stunting or heavily impeding their opportunity for self improvement.

Always Be A First-Rate Version Of Yourself

Self esteem is how one views himself/herself. It affects how individuals relate with others, and the decisions and choices one makes. It is what motivates and inspires people to strive to better themselves. With healthy self esteem, individuals value their self-worth leading them to

• Have confidence in themselves and their abilities,
• Nurture healthy relationships with others,
• Increase their ability to accept, weather, and solve challenges that come their way,
• Do well and excel in their chosen professions,
• Express their opinions and ideas, and open up to ideas of others, and
• Be more positive on their outlook in life

Healthy self esteem has the potential to help you live a better and more fulfilling life. With confidence in yourself and your abilities, it can help you strive to be the best person you can be. As Judy Garland had said, "Always be a first-rate version of yourself, instead of a second-rate version of somebody else."


Toodles,
Amy

Hey guys! First post on my blog, Self improvement for beginners. This is my passion. I made this blog in order to share what I know about self improvement online, and to help and motivate others who want to improve themselves. I believe that Self improvement is a continuous and never ending, but immensely gratifying, process that will raise your quality of life and contribute to your personal growth. After all, given the chance, who wouldn't want to improve?

This blog will contain some self improvement articles, and selected links from other websites and blogs that may help you on your quest. Also, I'll make sure to include a few useful health tidbits (relevant, of course) for fun.


Toodles,
Amy